I was in pursuit of a much-raved-about cappuccino. Cayenne pepper and honey, they said. I waded through the tall grass to the back of the pasture, excited to peak in on the newest addition to our farm animal family. Horse Hide, Human Hand. How is this possible? But I really wanted pink! I drove away, my necessary clot.

I wrote this poem in one of my darkest moments. Gut-wrenching though it was, God used it to bring me to the book of Job, chapters 38-42. Despite my black heart, the confusion of my circumstances, and the emotional brink on which I was teetering, God showed me that He is God. My self-righteousness needed to be laid down, overwhelmed by His sovereign wisdom and power. No, just as Job did not have the answers.

So here are more photos from Kids Church. The first one is completely raw.