My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss. Sunday, March 31, 2013. I called in to the on call service for my p.

Friday, May 24, 2013. So we did something just a step above going through the motions.

And other cynical, profanity-laced yet heartfelt responses to the death of my baby. Wednesday, February 12, 2014. Seven years ago today, I gave birth to a baby girl. That sentence alone is the most surreal thing to write and read. Remember me? I did buy flowers as I do a.

In memory of Baby Sage and Grandpa Faulkner. Friday, August 14, 2009. As you may have noticed, I have not been posting on The Encouragement of Light for a while, now. As my pregnancy has progressed, I have felt less inclined to write here, and as incredibly meaningful as this blog has been, I did not want to force myself to continue it if it did not feel right.

Saturday, December 29, 2012. Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Girl. First News of Her Diagnosis. There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief. That is why they call it the present.

Searching for solace in a cold old house. Monday, August 9, 2010. Growing Some Fruit, and a Big Fat Baby. Our niece, Jamie, painted this beautiful sign for our blueberry patch. Friday, April 2, 2010.

Learning to play again, this side of Heaven. I am married to Ottis Redding, Jeff Buckley, Joe Henry,. Thom Yorke, Grant Lee Philips. The teenage crushes, Bradley from Sublime, Bono,. Every poet that sings to my soul. Not when they seem so rushed. To get me gone from bed to make empty for a better customer. A card not from the state,.

Picking up the pieces of my life after the loss of a baby. I think I wanted to punish my body for betraying me, Norah, and our family. I have no comfort right now. I long to speak with her. It is that time of year again.

Balancing family, mental and physical exercise, and all the emotional baggage accumulated throughout several decades of living. Saturday, January 9, 2016. I wanted to cry last night. Given the circumstances I thought maybe I would, or should. I was tired but a little amped up, as I usually am the night before my long run. And I started thinking, remembering, and still no tears came.

Friday, November 4, 2011. Wednesday, November 2, 2011. North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii. Wreck Rock Deep Water National Park Australia. Waiheke Island, New Zealand. E maroke i te rā,. From one of the lullabys I sang to her while she lived. Be dried by the sun,. It will be forever moistened. Thank you for allowing me to share my girl.