An incident last night prompted me to make this handy flow chart for our children. The only question that remains unresolved is why Mommy was laughing so hard. I just read a book. I find this idea very appealing for several reasons.

After that I had to do my ten minutes of meditation with my new meditation app. I said I was blogging. Then I had to make something to eat. Send my husband off for a pretrial meeting in another city. Take my son to driving school. Respond to some administrative emails. Check our cash balance and pay a bill.

Bruce Jenner is a Better Woman than You. Bruce Jenner is a better woman than you. After all, if a 60-something year-old grandfather can look like a supermodel on the cover of Vanity Fair, wtf is your problem? Well, actually, for several specific intents and purposes, all of them having to do with drawing the spotlight, selling your new reality TV show, and boosting the inexplicable fame of your equally self-absorbed, limelight seeking family members. The expectation that I will use.