My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss. Sunday, March 31, 2013. I called in to the on call service for my p.

A photographic journal after the loss of my daughter. The newest addition to our house. This is a real butterfly that was mounted behind glass shortly after it had died. These butterflies are hand raised and cared for until they are placed in the frames.

Thursday, August 28, 2014. Who the hell knows at this point. The miraculous stories of couples who have been infertile for so long, suddenly conceiving without any intervention at all, linger at the back of my mind. but then I remember I already used up my pregnancy miracle with Kaia. One cannot have all the riches in the world. I will take mine and be grateful. I miss him, but the missing is now part of the love and I can no longer separate the two.

Friday, May 15, 2015. You were her delight and her pride. She prayed for you, cheered you on, and cherished you. Why am I writing this in past tense? Yeah, your mom. Be entirely separate from the mother-love that held you.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a candle and put it under a bowl. Soon I promise- just need to. So the winner is .

Monday, March 12, 2018. And so I felt like I spent a lot of the day going to the bathroom. But we got home just in time to have our neighbors over for dinner! The bunny d.

Thursday, October 3, 2013. This month brings about a new excitement for me each year. The October after Lyra died, I was introduced to the art swaps involving the Day of the Dead theme. As in my previous post. The grief that comes after .

Thursday, 19 October 2017. When Your Sibling is Verbally Abusive. How did we get here again? We were getting along so well. I say this to myself each time a normal conversation with my sister explodes into an argument. As I write this we are not speaking to each other.

So where am I though? We are .

Monday, August 14, 2017. I know, I know, I know. Life gets busy! We are all doing well.