Author of SHATTERED, a memoir of childhood sexual abuse. And the frozen snap of trees in sub-zero temps, feeling alone but not lonely by the solid creek, as if I were an Eskimo out trapping. But I also worked hard to maintain that OK-ness, every day, sometimes every moment. And another, my friend Sue, who died a few years ago of cancer, with never a complaint and only a smile. I fail, and fail miser.

The adventure of learning to fully live while healing from Complex PTSD. That my body felt invaded and violated with my three year old memories. And the three year old sense of that is quite different from what it felt like even a bit older. Or what it felt like with my grandfather. Today I have been experiencing some of the results from all of that processing.

Journey to healing after sexual abuse. I have been blogging considerably less lately. There are a number reasons for this. Partly, it is simply that I longer need to share in the way I have done previously and more importantly because I am finding that I do not need validation from the world any more. If I cannot find it in myself, I look to my T, my minister or my husband instead. I had decided to move my blog, p.

My journey of fumbling through therapy. It would seem that the therapist and I arrive at a similar therapeutic impasse.

Who are you calling sensitive? I just feel and see more. It takes two to therapy. And yet the pain is so fresh. For all I know, it could have been.

Random jaunt through this maze. How to make a grounding bracelet. Both sides of the wall. Integrating the light and the dark. I was describing my anxiety in group yesterday. I had mentioned that the ptsd symptoms seemed to have quieted only to be replaced by the anxiety.

The agony of insecure attachment has been kicking my butt this week.

Coping and living with PTSD, Depression and extreme childhood trauma. Sex, shame and guilt. Lethargy, sleeplessness and motivation. Music, poetry, etc. On PTSD times two? Deadjosh on PTSD times two? On PTSD times two? .

I feel like I should be feeling something consistently. Or maybe feeling an hourly or daily tsunami of emotion. I feel bouts of misery. Bouts of anger, shocking loneliness, desperation? This morning I asked my husband for some cash before he left, he left some on the nightstand.

First there was my the whole going crazy thing and not being able to do anything other than function at work. I think I can, I think I can. insert other sayings along the same lines here. Today, today, today. Let it stay, let it stay, let it stay.